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bespectacledsloth:

all-four-cheekbones:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Genetically Modified Berry compared to Organic Berry:

Note that the modified specimen is bloated to about 3 times the mass of the common berry. Advanced rot has set in prior to maturity and tests revealed 78% more lactic acid in the modified organism.

Upon contact with the modified berry, the picker’s hands exhibited a rash which is clearly visible on the fingers and should not be mistaken for juice stains acquired during picking. While the common berry, of course, has no ill effects on the skin, the modified organism had an effect similar to poison oak and swelling set in shortly after the photo was taken.  The discoloration and pain lasted approximately 12 hours with treatment including Neosporin and Syrup of Ipecac.

At 16 hours the specimen went missing and could not be monitored for decay rates.  While the common berry remained, the modified berry was spotted the next Tuesday at the corner of Wallace and 12th St. Having grown another meter and a half, the genetically modified berry murdered two prostitutes and became the target of a cross country manhunt. It was last seen on February 20th in Boulder, CO where it has joined with several bananas from the Monsanto corporation and stolen at least two shotguns from the Boulder Police Department.

A manifesto was released online suggesting that the berries intend to strike at our nurseries, killing our young and replacing them with further modified organisms which we will raise as our own. They also intend to “free their enslaved brothers” by treating common fruits and possibly vegetables with mutagens.

The head of the FDA could not be reached for comment as he has gone missing. Only a glass of unidentified red fluid was found in his office, labeled “Extra Pulp”.

#I am so glad I kept reading

The number of people that aren’t reading the whole thing and are hailing it as fact make me laugh harder than the actual story.

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A VIDEO

gameraboy:

Trigun, “Demon’s Eye”

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A VIDEO

Chris Evans Ice Bucket Challenge (x)

A PHOTO

doctor-tiger-bitch:

barackthehalls:

neonshi:

milafawnkawaiielfgoddessangelic:

truthtellingtime:

Just so everybody knows, the mirror is actually more reliable than the camera. Even though people say “the camera never lies”, it distorts your photographs a little bit. It has to turn a 3d image (you in real life) to a 2d image (a photograph) and consequently skews the proportions a little bit.

Also, “photogenic” is a real thing. Certain faces photograph well and others don’t. It’s all down the angles, proportions and size of your features.

Have you ever seen someone stunning who looks great in professional photographs and not in candids? Yeah, that’s because there’s a huge difference between a professional and an amateur. Professionals know how to minimise the issues cameras have. Lighting, angles and even the distance you are away from the camera plays a part (the amount of distortion varies depending on how close you are).

TL;DR if you think you look great in the mirror but not in the photo, trust the mirror. You look great!

NOT ONLY THAT, but when you look in a mirror, you’re seeing your face in motion, how others would see it. In a photograph, you’re still, and it can make small flaws and the like seem a lot more prominent, despite them being quite minuscule in person.

Also! Also, when you see yourself in the mirror you are looking at you face reverse of how a camera pics it up. No face is perfectly symmetrical so you get so used to seeing a mirrored version of your face that when it’s flipped in a picture you subconsciously notice the tiny differences in your face and thus you think you don’t look right.

I have never felt so relieved and beautiful thank you guys

Reblogged from roth & brisbane
A PHOTO

totinos:

Happy Women’s Equality Day from all the ladies, gents, puppies, and pizzas at Totino’s!

Reblogged from Liam Dryden
A PHOTO

yinx1:

olitzterry:

the-real-mozart:

booksneak:

ew-romance:

theother-worldlyninja:

moraniarty:

pwnator:

kiriloid:

tdrloid:

pelicaneggs:

jiinkiie2:

garrys-wife:

Wow, that case must be JAM-packed.

It’d butter be

looks like shes bready to go

my flight had better be rye-t on time

i’d hate for her to be forced to wheat

I bet that costs a lot of dough.

that case is toastally awesome

That case must be handy when you’re crumbing and going.

i really knead that bag

That suitcase looks like bread.

thanks for your contribution.

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twofacesyetonesoul:

phantompromise:

tycoondashie:

40niyr:

fenris-kin:

omnicat:

sneakymedulla:

aboysbestfriendishismother:

wait a minute

actually, no. don’t wait a minute. i will accept this. i would just clear the bullshit-factory from my mind, get sussed out, constantly have my shit together in every situation, and charged my entire being with creativity and awareness.

i am so down with this~

Yes please.

No more depression. No more anxiety. No more losing my temper at stupid shit. No more crippling fear for the future… None of it. 

You guys don’t think big enough.

Feeling motivated and pumped 24/7. Conscious access to your pattern-matching faculties and muscle and generic memory. Splinter your hemispheres and delegate different tasks for improved multi-tasking. Whatever it is you’re doing, from rocket science to playing Starcraft for a living, you’d be dominating the field in a decade.

not big enough.

with 100% brain power you can learn anything much faster than anyone on earth and master it at a record pace, you could out program entire companies, out smart geniuses, never sleep as you can rest your brain in phases become the all powerful being.

every post on this site always ends with world domination has anyone noticed that

blazethemage
Sarah…
Reblogged from "It's forever, dearie"
A TEXT POST

togamisrichass:

also psa

  • its perfectly normal and expected for people to act differently around other people
  • you play a different role in everyones life and you act accordingly to that role
  • its not being two faced 
  • it’s “would you act the way you act around your friends at a job interview?”
  • no you would not
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mothbug:

hellocinders:

I’m weeaboo garbage but at least I didn’t buy manga mascara

you definitely bought it dude don’t even play

Reblogged from Officer Friendly